(Almost) Anything Goes

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(Almost) Anything Goes
at Open Mic Night
2006-02-16
Article Written by: Charles Griffin

Yes, my starved little hams, as in Ham I Am that seeks Poetry Slam or Rhyming Time at any potential venue. You know who you are. There is a light in the west.

Shari Brzenzinski hosts a monthly event at the Deltona Arts and Historical Center, 682 Deltona Blvd., from 7 to 10 p.m. on the second Sunday of each month. It’s called “OPEN MIC: Your 15 Minutes of Fame.” As the name implies, you have to sign up in advance for a 15 minute time slot by calling 386.789.0241 or Emailing Brzenzinski at earth523@aol.com.

I called the day of the open mike and might as well have been spitting in the wind. Three hours with four time slots each means 12 chances to perform. Naturally, some performances don’t take all 15 minutes so there is a little leeway at the end of the evening. It also ran over the 10 p.m. mark by a little.

That didn’t mean I got to perform, but I got a laugh when I was talking to the host afterward about the fact that no poets, such as myself, performed. “Did you bring any of your poetry with you?” (Had I)! “Well,” she said, “I can understand that you might want to see how it goes before standing up in front of a crowd. Many people are reluctant at first...”

I assured her that I don’t suffer from that problem. In fact, one of the people helping her out told me when I first arrived that there was no point in trying to sign up because all the slots were filled, and had been for some time. As it turned out some performers were quick or short in their performance and a couple of those scheduled didn’t show up.

So what did I see and hear? What will you be most likely to see and hear if you attend next month? Michael James Hoffman

Pickers and singers, for the most part. It seems Deltona is such a hotbed of songwriters that they have formed the Deltona Songwriters Guild. Anyone who has ever been around the music business can tell you that many successful songwriters can’t sing a lick.

You now have an opportunity to decide for yourself if that is a true statement or not. I vote for true. It is also a truism that some singers are not much at playing music. Again, you can go to the next event and decide for yourself, but don’t say I didn’t warn you! They don’t call it a truism for nothing.

Most of the singers didn’t try to play anything. They mostly brought their music on a disk and sang along, Karaoke-style. When I arrived, a singer named Michael James Hoffman was doing a very good job of sounding and looking like a country-western singing star. One of his songs was said to be the song of the year on 93.1 FM radio.

He was followed by Dan Cook, who wrote songs relating to his Vietnam experiences and an Ode to Women that was moving, but flawed.

Here’s my advice, freely given to all songwriters and poets and authors in general. Research everything. If you are going to include a thought, a historical person or event in a song or other writing, make sure you work from the facts. If you want to sing about Mother Teresa, you have to understand that she primarily worked with the dying, giving them comfort in their last moments. She was not generally involved in helping sick children to get better, although her order does support hospital work of all kinds now.

Then came a string of performers using stage or first names only. It was very irritating. Uncle Ray and his son, Mike Fenton, were the only comics. Both had risqué anecdotes that belied the “family friendly” request of the host.

Uncle Ray, in his 80s, had a good routine on aging. “The heat from my candles drove me back from the cake. NASA called and said the pictures of my birthday cake were ready.” He also said, “I’m at the age where, when I go out with a woman, I can’t take ‘yes’ for an answer.” Some of the other jokes went a little farther out than that. They were funny, but not family friendly.

Rick Goldberg, another guild member, followed with good lyrics but his voice wasn’t equal to the task. His song “AM Radio” deserves broader distribution. “Del” came next. He had a pleasant tenor voice suitable for his Irish-style music. He was the only one to play a non-amplified guitar.

“Goat,” apparently a local celeb on radio and a music teacher, followed with an Irish parody about his penis that was definitely not family friendly. One of the audience members with a small child kept her fingers in the little girl’s ears through the whole song.

Along came another guild member, “Roger,” who had both good lyrics and a good voice. One song resonated with the line “you can see Florida...Only $50 at the gate” referring to the disappearance of old Florida and the imitation and glitz within the theme parks. Another song had the theme, “She’s gone, and that’s good...” about a woman rather than the state.

Then there was “Kelly” who could sound a little like Patsy Cline, unless she tried to reach out of her range. She is another very good songwriter, however.

One girl arrived late, preceded by an entourage, whom I suspect was her mother and sister. This was “Jenna” who has her own web site at www. myspace.com/jennafl where you can find out all about her and her music.

She was there to perform and there were some people there just for that performance. While she stayed for a short time after her set, she left before the evening was over and so did her fans and groupie (I suspect that was her boyfriend). There was a lot of “angry young woman” in her songs. She also devoted time to explaining her songs before she sang them, not necessarily a good thing.

I was reminded of a young Janis Joplin, including the tearing of her voice as she strained to belt out her lyrics. Unfortunately, her skills with the guitar weren’t impressive, mostly the same chords repeated constantly. Very often the rhythm of the words did not match the music. That’s a shame, because her lyrics were very good. I think she needs to understand it is OK to blend all the elements of her music into a whole gentler melody. While a message may be important to her—check out the web site to see that—if she destroys her voice before she reaches her pinnacle, she’ll never get it out. My notes say that she can do a pure high note but has trouble in the lower range. My notes also say that she should be discovered and produced by a professional studio or label.

“Helena” performed next. She did a series of her own songs with the flavor of jazz and ballads. “Where the Sun Begins” was a bit more jazz and very nice. Her voice had a funny timbre that was appealing, not least because she stayed inside her range.

Then Mike Fenton, whose comedy took a while to get hot, but not as long to get dirty. Fortunately, most of the kids were gone by then.

Except for 13 year-old “Rodney” who sang a cappella two songs, “I Believe I Can Fly” and “Amazing Grace.” This kid had church choir training and it showed. What a voice and what a contrast to what he followed.

The last scheduled singer was “Kendra” from Orlando - another songwriter with jazz and pop-eclectic tastes. She wowed the remaining audience with “Won’t You Be My Music...I’ll Be Your Song” and “Holding Onto Time.”

This was a singer with confidence in her voice and the ability to play to the audience as she sang.

She was followed by spare time and a walk-on performance of reminisces by “Ricardo Di Mundo,” telling of his childhood in Florida and elsewhere. He did a little rhyming poetry and played a couple of wooden instruments and pretty much wandered along bemusingly until Shari Brzenzinski pulled the plug and closed the night with a couple of her own songs.

Hey, Brzenzinski was pretty good.

This open mike was her idea and she said she was hoping to get more people to come out and support it. Funds from the beverages and baked goods and snacks, as well as proceeds from sales of DVDs of the performances, will go to expand the venue, perhaps even help the art center eventually move to a bigger building. Hopefully, with more parking.

My advice: Make the general cutoff for performances ten minutes. Put in a break at 9 p.m. to sell more coffee and snacks. Allow a little time for more walk-ins. In fact, have a sign-up sheet for those who come rather than an advance sign-up for those who may or may not show.

Mark your calendar for March 12 and call Brzenzinski to let her know you are interested. I plan to be there, Allah willing, and be a target for your criticisms. It’s only fair.

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